I do really want to say something about Amber Heard. I want to say a lot of things about Amber Heard. I want other people to stop saying a lot of things about Amber Heard.
It never ceases to bewilder or trouble me how virulently white women cleave to their own misogyny. I am not saying the phenomenon does not exist outside of white womanhood. I am saying the hypocrisy white female misogyny occupies simply astounds.
IMAGINE the amount of bad faith necessarily running like rose through your veins to own a vagina that has passed out at least one entire person and think Amber Heard’s version of violation falls short. Because you in your heart of hearts wish it was your vagina being violated. Like that. By him. You would have appreciated it. And I get it! Dior Sauvage makes a nice cluster of evil eye bracelets and wolf musk bottles.
Still, to take one pinot breath screaming the draft opinion is wrong because it hates women…. And to scream “LYING JUNKIE SLUT”at Amber Heard with that same exhale….feels chaotic, to me. At best.
Like, do you get it? To say she does not deserve protection from the greater power of a man because you don’t like her is EXACTLY the same as Alito’s saying “Women are not without power.”
Hating her makes you (white pinot women) feel better. You enjoy hating her. You enjoy power over her.
Same for Pickles Alito, sisters.
Also, white women: excoriating a white woman like Amber for excelling in the white women’s arts (“being the prettiest girl in the room, making a man feel adored, keeping a pretty home”) when said Albatross hails from Texas (white women finishing country) is like being flashed by a flaccid prostate cancer survivor: I get it. Once upon your bits did stuff.
I hate to be this guy about it, but one of the biggest principles of Twelve Step is not gossiping. Twelve step directs us over and over again to observe our reactions and our actions. Much justification dresses up as “concern.” It’s a convenient way to keep being kinda toxic, right- talking shit in the name of helping. Talking shit in the name of reminding yourself what you don’t want to be. Like it’s noble. A lot of judgment, and a lot of energy spent evaluating and assigning those judgments.
Gossip distracts one from the practice of recovery. It is squandering attention.
What I found is that practice makes perfect. When I practice abusing drugs, I abuse drugs. When I practice talking shit, I practice locating my bad feelings and my sense of redemption in the objectification of another person.
And later on, when I want compassion from that person, I have already spent so much time describing them as inadequate that I cannot feel compassionate towards them, and so cannot receive compassion from them. And so I excoriate further. And I practice digging the hole.
Gossip is digging the hole.
The hole they plan to leave us all in.
Gossip differs from opinion.
Gossip seeks to exploit a personal vulnerability for the benefit of the speaker and the listener, often at the subject’s expense and humiliation.
Opinion seeks to express a vantage to the clarity of the speaker and the listener. Opinion has an object, not a subject.
I am stunned that so many women are behind him. (But I shouldn't be stunned)